Dishwasher Syndrome

There are several distinct schools of thought involved in the proper operation of dishwashers. In fact, there ought to be a degree program for the whole automatic dishwashing syndrome (ADS) and half the course would be dedicated to negotiating with those who share or have access to your particular device. People tend to take their dishwashers very personally.

Individual members of western culture can be divided into two categories - those who don't mind emptying (but don't like loading) and those who don't mind loading (but don't like emptying). Hopefully, there is at least one of each in your household. Otherwise, you'll have a lopsided burden of unwanted responsibility contributing to inevitable resentment and frustration.

That doesn't even begin to compare to the enormous and unresolved controversy of cutlery up or down. Do you put handles down first? If so, you will have to grab forks, knives and spoons by the "business" end of the cutlery - the part that delivers food into your assimilation port. Or do you put handles up? If so, it makes them easy and more hygenic to grab, but some people argue the cleaning process is hindered by the cutlery tray itself as well as the logjam of utensils making contact together. There is absolutely nothing worse than spoons on top of spoons. Who can contradict what contentious domestic disputes have not been initiated with accusations about cutlery placement? 

Then there are the "sweet spots" and favoured locations for specific vessels, plates and assorted items. Would anyone disagree orientation is one of the most extreme priorities? Angles must be correct in order to avoid unforgivable lingering residual moisture. Then, of course, any points of contact must be circumvented in order to escape permanent damage. Not only does it chip and crack your favourite dishes, broken pieces of crockery or tableware can contribute to a bottleneck in the kitchen drain.

Normally, I would include a survey form here for readers to reply or post comments, but the matter is not open to discussion.

Alien Anniversary

It is truly remarkable how much the industry of cinema has changed not only since the 1890s but even as recently as the past 10 to 15 years. Today, every movie has CGI in it somewhere and they even have to have credits for programming now. Not only that, but every aspect of the business side is radically different from what it used to be. For example, the international box office often exceeds the domestic these days. The latest Tom Cruise film (Edge of Tomorrow) picked up $82 million outside of the USA including $25 million in China and $16 million in South Korea. It only grossed $28 million at home, but worldwide it is sitting at almost $140 million for its opening weekend. The worldwide gross for Godzilla, so far, is double the domestic and Captain America: The Winter Soldier has almost tripled the domestic. Frozen did triple the domestic as well ($400 vs $1200 million).

What is also remarkable is that up until the 1990s, the studios did not allow us to actually purchase copies of their films. We could only rent them. Until then, there was no way they would let us possess personal copies of their product. They wanted us to pay just to look at their stuff. It was like going to the museum. You could look, but you were not allowed to purchase a copy of the Rosetta Stone or a dinosaur skeleton or a Sumerian vase. None of it was for sale . . . and neither was Terminator 2. You could rent it, but you couldn't own it.

The attitude did eventually change, but at first we could only get VHS video versions and we all know now how crappy that was. It was like selling us cheap imitation plastic replicas Ming Dynasty china or vinyl Chanel fashion accessories. It was OK at first, but it wasn't great. By the time we got to DVDs, however, the studios we're really in being torn apart. There was so much money available for digital product, but it meant throwing away all the bars and walls of their secure vaults. If they let us buy a disc, it was almost like owning the original. In fact, the idea of "original" kind of goes away once it gets remastered into digital form. It wasn't until June 1999 that Twentieth Century Fox finally opened it's doors and let us buy Alien on DVD. That was 15 years ago this month. Happy Anniversary!

It's so funny, because it seems like we've been able to own our favourite films forever. That's simply not true. Maybe it's because we used to watch old films on late night TV and then cable, but now we have Netflix and TiVo and Blu-ray discs. Although, when you think about it, the idea of "film" itself is actually going away. Film projectors may soon be extinct too. We still have the theatres, but they are all going digital and those enormous, grand old film cameras are being replaced by ultra high definition digital devices. The 3-film camera they used to shoot The Wizard of Oz was the size of a refrigerator and weighed as much. No one will miss that monster.

If you made a relative temporal transition timeline comparison of cinema to the evolution of species on the Galápagos Islands and Darwin's Origin of Species (1859), what took amphibians and reptiles millions of years to adapt through natural selection, the current state of cinema went from silent black and white Charlie Chaplin shorts to computer genereated Disney animated 3D full length features . . .  in the blink of an eye. 

Free Will and Food Courts

You have to love how discerning the public is when it comes to advertising.  Agencies spend millions on campaigns and air time to get the perfect message on TV, on the radio and in print. The audience takes half a second to decide if they will pay attention or not. You have to love the power of the low common denominator, because there is nothing low about it at all. The common denominator is a monster!

Look at everyone's favourite painting - Edvard Munch's The Scream. For some reason this is the work of art the most number of people find infatuating. You can buy the art represented on drapes, lamps, towels, lighters, stained glass windows, hand puppets, mugs, T-shirts, keychains, and even glue-on fingernails. Then there are the imitations featuring famous cartoon characters, game characters or famous people. Have you ever noticed the poster for Home Alone shows Macaulay Culkin doing the exact same pose as Munch's painting?

The list is infinite, but what it says is truly remarkable. The infatuation illustrates an incredible unanimous consensus among much of humanity. No one was told to like the painting. No one was taught how to interpret it or what it means or how they should react to it. Everyone seems to understand exactly what it is and identifies with it without being prompted.

So that means the public does indeed have a voice. They decide when a piece of music will be popular or a film (like Avatar or The Avengers) or when an electronic device like the iPhone or the iPad will dominate the market. Everyone selects clothing and cars and types of food and turns those choices into iconic emblems of mutual agreement. Am I wrong, or isn't that what elections are for? Advertising, marketing and publicity can present the choices, but the popular vote cannot be compromised. That's what I love about free will and food courts.